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speedlimit15:

*pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce”*

jigglemyboobies:

kushaw:

jigglemyboobies:

Why was Hitler hit with a baseball?

because he was a fucking racist, sexist and homophobic nationalistic douchebag

no because he did nazi it coming

plasticbagvevo:

when you hear somebody talking about one of your interests

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fruitcrocs:

fruitcrocs:

i love it when i cook stuff for myself bc like i’ve just cooked pasta and yee bitch look at me providing for myself i could totally make it in this world it’s almost as if i have my life together

i take this back the pasta was shit i’m falling apart

corysanchez:

mood: sleep

lindsaylohoean:

"what’s up?"

"the ceiling"

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kixxinq:

If Tumblr was a movie I’d probably be the extra in the background no one notices

metalhearted:

*me being sleepy in class*

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suspend:

IM SCREMAING I GOT BANNED AT CLUB PENGUIN FOR SAYING “GO FUK A CACTUS”

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yungghunty:

Boy: Wanna go out sometime?

Me: No, I’m sorry. I’m really trying to focus on my career right now.

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jesuser:

imagine all your online friends living near you

ectobiologist:

yeah i did like 100 push ups today

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virginitity:

how i seduce men

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